


Miley Stewart's Boyfriend

by jojoandpicnic



Series: PruCan Week 2016 [7]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Hannah Montana AU, M/M, prucanweek, prucanweek 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 21:36:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8176915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jojoandpicnic/pseuds/jojoandpicnic
Summary: PruCan Week 2016 - Day 7, Free Day!
Gilbert is your average blogger - an awesome guy, has a crush on his best friend, doesn't like Beck Quebec. Simple. Or is it?





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: OMG you guys! It’s the last day! (And the first day of Halloween.) Before continuing, I would like to note that this is a companion to my fic Beck Quebec, but you do not have to read it to understand this. It’s basically Gilbert’s side of the story. Also, I wrote Beck Quebec two years ago; I had to search some things up about 2014 for this fic. But like, guys, I was sixteen and not wanting to go to school and start my senior year of high school. Now I’ll be nineteen tomorrow and I’m quite a few weeks into my third semester of college. Shit, guys, where did the time go??? If you were wondering, I have not seen _The Hundred Foot Journey_ ever, but I have seen _Guardians of the Galaxy_. Well, without further ado, here is this nonsense that I had a lot of fun writing. And heavy swearing warning. :)

August 5, 2014 - Posted

Matthew may be one of the best mofos on the planet, but sometimes he really sucks.

For example, today Mattie sang one of the most annoying songs on the radio five times.  _ IN A ROW _ . “Underneath Maple Leaves” by Beck Quebec was released  _ yesterday  _ and already everybody on the goddamn planet is singing it. Even Birdie, who didn’t even seem to realize he was humming.

Now, I could go on another long tirade about why Beck Quebec is the worst thing that has happened to the music industry thus far, maybe even going beyond the egotistical Justin Bieber, but I’ll leave it at this for now: all Beck cares about is money, fame, and sex and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the quality of his music. And he looks stupid and he can’t sing.

But there was Matthew today, humming the same damn song,  _ again _ . What a pain. So, naturally, I asked him politely to stop. Because it was obnoxious. And Birdie clearly needed a new song stuck in his head. Which I helped out with. After complaining about why Beck Quebec was totally and completely unawesome.

Here is a survey of the songs I chose to sing with my awesome singing voice (a true gift from the heavens):

“LEAVES FROM THE VINE, FALLING SO SL-”

“-OWING, RISE UP EARLY IN THE MORN-”

“-ING BELLS ARE RINGING, MORNING BELLS ARE RINGING, DING DANG DO-”

“-N’T DECEIVE ME, OH, NEVER LEAVE ME, HOW COULD YOU-”

“-SAW THEM, WOULD YOU EVEN CARE?”

So what if all the songs I know are for kids? They’re still songs and, need I remind all of you internet peeps, I can still shred it on the ukulele, so nothing else really matters. Not to mention, Matthew seemed to enjoy them all and even sang along to a few of them  ~~ with his angelic voice ~~ .

Anyway, we spent the entire day playing board games. Because we’re that awesome.

~~And if I played “Underneath Maple Leaves” on my ukulele after he left, well that isn’t any of your business.~~

Tags: #personal #my awesome self #my awesome bff #the crush continues #atla #adventure time #kid songs #board games are awesome and you cant tell me otherwise #also for the record i dont like underneath maple leaves and it totally wasnt stuck in my head #but if youre wondering birdie makes everything better

August 10, 2014 - Posted

Today was mostly unawesomely boring as I was just passing the time and waiting for tomorrow when me and Mattie are gonna see  _ The Hundred Foot Journey  _ (produced by Oprah!). I hung out with West and Feli all day. Feli, who by the way, is a Beck Quebec fan. Which sucks because he was in charge of the remote and guess what he picked to watch? The Ellen DeGeneres Show guest starring Beck Fucking Quebec.

“We’re at your beck and call!” is the lamest fan mantra in the history of ever. And I know I’ve said that before, but I swear to Gott, it’s like they’re his fucking maids or something in mini skirts waiting for him to bend them over a goddamn table or something. I wondered how many of those girls in that audience Beck has already slept with. Wouldn’t surprise me if the answer was “all of them.”

However, the way Ellen greeted America’s D-bag was priceless: “Hey, there, Becca.”

**_KABOOSH!!!!!_ **

Ah, man, his face was  _ awesome _ . Way to crush his masculinity, Ellen. You go girl! You’ll be the next Oprah in no time!  ~~ (Though everybody knows you can’t beat Oprah.) ~~

And y’know this where I stopped paying attention because I can’t devote all my time to hating this guy. Just know that the rest of the time was spent with meaningless questions in which Beck McBeck was a total sleazy cheese and didn’t actually answer any of those questions before singing his newest single in that weak-ass, flimsy voice of his.

My ears started to unawesomely bleed when Beck grabbed a mic and started singing. Just to let you know.

~~Matthew sang it better.~~

In other news, expect my full report on  _ The Hundred Foot Journey _ tomorrow. But honestly how bad can it be when it was produced by mother-effing Oprah.

Tags: #personal #my awesome self #the crush continues #beck the speck hate #ellen degenerneneres #oprah is god on earth #fight me on this but im totes siding with josh peck #tbh you should find a video of the face becca made when ellen called him that #its awesome

**fryingpansexual** _ reblogged this from  _ **_awesomesauce_ ** _ and added _ : Gil, when will you admit that you’re sexually attracted to Beck Quebec and give up your hate for pure, unadulterated passion?

**awesomesauce** _ reblogged this from  _ **_fryingpansexual_ ** _ and added:  _ fuck you liz

August 12, 2014 - Posted

There’s seven days until school starts again. An entire week! Shit guys where did the summer go???

Toni’s having a party soon, like he always does. It’s the Back to School party, ‘cause Toni throws a shit ton of parties. This one, is meant to show off summer flings and new summer loves. Or the returning couples. Or the lucky chosen few who are still single but good enough friends with Toni or other attendees to be invited.

My awesome self, of course, is one those lucky chosen few. Thanks, Toni.

But… this year I don’t really want to go as a single. I want to ask Birdie out, which I will and it will be totally awesome.

Anyway, the party is gonna be epic. Hopefully, it will allow us all to forget the impending doom known as school. A final “Hurrah!” before we’re all chained up again, one last moment of fun before school fucks us over, one more time of being free before we get crushed by homework.

Jeez, I don’t want to go back. Am I even going to graduate? Do I have enough credits or whatever and am I going to pass my classes? In case you didn’t know, my internet peeps, I don’t have the best track record for grades and I am not ashamed to admit it. There are so many more awesome things to do besides school work. #YOLO

On that maybe-not-so-awesome note (and super old hashtag), I’m heading out before I can say anything else that may compromise your god-like view of me.

Tags: #personal #my awesome self #the crush continues #antonio the fiesta man #yolo #school sucks ass #and not in the good way #stay in school kids #another year of this and then ill be expected to go into community college #fuck that

August 12, 2014 - Drafted

Okay, so, not that I’ll ever admit it out loud or to anybody else, but actually asking Mattie out is causing me hella nervousness.

Going to see  _ The Hundred Foot Journey _ had been intended to be a date, but I never quite got those specific words out. So we hung out. Which was awesome and a little disappointing at the same time because I  _ want _ Matthew to be my boyfriend but it’s so hard to  _ ask _ . It’s ridiculously unawesome -- we’ve known each other since middle school (which is the absolute worst time in ANYBODY’S life) and have told each other everything! It shouldn’t be this goddamn hard!

I’ve spent the past hour bitching to Gilbird, who tweeted back without much thought. I love you, Gilbird, but I need more moral support than that.

And to top it all off, Feli noticed later that day how unawesome I was feeling and asked what was bothering me. Ah, man, I had to have been looking especially worse for wear if  _ Feli _ of all people noticed.

But, anyway, little known fact -- Feli asked Ludwig out, not the other way around. If West had been left up for the job, then those two would not be together right now, let me tell you that. He’s almost as stubborn as I am when confessing a crush (though, now that we’ve both acknowledged having one, it’s kind of hard to forget and deny). So, basically, what I’m getting at is that I asked Feliciano the most embarrassing question I could have ever asked.

“How did you ask Ludwig out?”

Goddamn how stupider could I sound???????!!!!!!! I’m supposed to be awesome all the time (WHICH I AM, BITCH, DON’T FORGET IT. except in times of extremely rare weakness) Hey, even this sexy piece of ass is human.

And you know what Feli said? You wanna know what that punk said? “I just asked.”

What the fuck. What tHE FUCK?! He said it like he was the most courageous little shit on the planet. How the fuck did he  _ not _ shit his pants? And THEN he had the balls to ask if I was planning on asking Birdie out. How the fuck does he know that? How does Feliciano become so perceptive when 99% of the time he doesn’t know what the hell is going on and just makes pasta without a care to food waste (not that any of the pasta is not eaten, but) or how much freaking water he’s wasting (I swear to Gott it’s like he doesn’t even know California is in a 5ever drought)?

Also, I totally didn’t answer his question. I wasn’t about to admit  ~~ my faults ~~ that I have a crush.

August 13, 2014 - Posted

Today I did it. I only have one life, and I’m going to make it the best life ever. Today I asked my best friend out. My best friend, Matthew W*******, who has softly curled blond hair, beautiful violet eyes that reflect the twilight sky, and the most awesome personality. The same Matthew that reminds me of birds, the same Matthew that has a shit taste in music, the same Matthew that can wreck anybody in hockey if he so chooses, the same Matthew who can out eat Alfred - the King of Eating - when it comes to pancakes, the same Matthew who I fought with in eighth grade over sneaking into movie theatres, the same Matthew who heard my many failures when I first began to play the ukulele, the same Matthew who--

Well, I digress. You just want to know how I did it, don’t you?

All right. That’s cool. Pull up a chair, relax, shut up, and prepare for the most awesome story ever told, full of awesomeness and yours truly.

For starters, I  **did not** stare at my phone for an hour building up my courage to call my best friend. No way in hell. Secondly, my voice  **did not** crack when I said “hello.” Thirdly, here is the gist of our conversation.

“Hello?” Matthew said sweetly (like always).

Me, the suave mofo I am, replied smoothly, “Hey, Matt. So I was thinking –” That’s right, guys, I was going for gold. I had the most awesome delivery of my question all planned  out beforehand and there was absolutely no way Mattie was going to say no.

Except, note that I am speaking in past tense… well, of course I’m speaking in past tense, I’m telling a story, BUT notice how I did not finish my most amazing proposal. That’s because mothereffing Feli ran screaming into my room.

“Gilbert! Gilbert! Gilbert! I need to know if you finally asked Matthew –” 

I’m not going to lie. I seriously worried for my life at this point. If I couldn’t shut Feli up fast enough, then my entire plan and life was ruined. I would never be able to show my face around Birdie again, and that was something I would not, no,  _ could _ not stand for. As soon as I opened my mouth to save my ass from Feli’s unintentional accident, Ludwig was there.

Have I ever told you I love my little brother Ludwig? Because I do. He was all like “Feliciano! Be quiet!” in a big and powerful voice (I raised him right) and paired next to his large exterior (I was the one who got him into body building, btw) he looked pretty intimidating and had Feli going quiet in half a second. It was pretty awesome.

So, then, like the suave mofo I am, I continued, “As I was saying. There’s this thing and….” I trailed off to build suspense. I didn’t want to make him think I was  _ too _ eager or desperate. Or anything like that.   


Mattie isn’t one for suspense, though, so he filled the silence with the best possible joke. “What am I supposed to do with this thing? Go with you or babysit Feli?”   


And then, I said it. “Go with me. To Antonio’s party.” Fuck yeah. I’m awesome.   


“Oh, uh, you mean–?”

So, at this time, two things happened, interrupting whatever Birdie was going to say. 

On Matthew’s end of the line, I could hear Alfred saying, “Hey, Mattie? Have you seen my Captain Underpants cape?”   


Next to me, in my  _ goddamn ear _ , Feliciano stopped cooking to exclaim, “Oh, my gosh, Gilly, you’re blushing! Did you ask him? Oh, my gosh, you did, didn’t you! Oh, yay! Do you want pasta to celebrate?”   


To which Ludwig replied, “Feli, he’s still on the phone.”   


Then, Alfred, seemingly forgetting about his Captain Underpants cape, started to laugh his damn obnoxious laugh and managed to get out this beautiful imagery: “Ma-Ma-hah-ha – Matt, you’re as red as my cape! Aha-hahaha!” There was a thud, which I could only assume was Birdie drop kicking his brother’s ass to the floor.

And finally, the awesomest words ever said by anyone. “Um, yeah, Gilbert, I’ll go with you.” After which, the call ended abruptly, which was kind of unawesome, but  _ holy shit _ .

It’s official! I, the one and only awesome, have successfully asked out my best friend and got an affirmative answer! Yes yes yes yes! Praise the heavens and every bird on the planet!

Except I didn’t say the word “date.”

Shit.

Hopefully it was implied and Matthew understood?

Tags: #personal #my awesome self #the crush continues #except the crush is totally two ways #i did it guys #omg #pasta #captain underpants #i don’t think i’ve been this happy since i got gilberd #like im not even kidding #im celebrating by eating pasta #thanks feli

**fryingpansexual** _reblogged this from_ ** _awesomesauce_** _and added_ : Congrats, Gil! I’m so happy for you! See you at the party ;P

**awesomesauce** _ reblogged this from  _ **_fryingpansexual_ ** _ and added _ : Liz, if you mess this up in anyway, I will murder you.

**fryingpansexual** _ reblogged this from  _ **_awesomesauce_ ** _ and added:  _ Your concerns are unfounded, d-bag.

August 15, 2014 - Posted

Weirdest thing to happen in the history of ever. Sometime between asking Matthew out and today, Alfred started dating Beck Quebec????? Emphasis on confusion.

Okay, so like, I shot off a text to Mattie immediately after I heard it (from dumbass Twitter of all places) and he said it was a mistake (obviously because seriously anybody who wants to date Beck the Speck is confused in the head and needs help) like a wrong place and the wrong time sort of a deal and honestly I could totally see Al doing something like that, but really????? Jeez, what the hell. How the fuck does that happen?

(But dude can you imagine Arthur’s face when he heard the “news?” He must have gone bat shit crazy! lol)

Tags: #personal #my awesome self #seriously #alfred how #i can hear the pitiful cries of becks fans #WHY COULDNT HE BE MINE #they are crying #I MEAN I ALWAYS KNEW HE WAS GAY BUT WHY COULDNT HE BE STRAIGHT FOR ME #they ask themselves still in denial #and i #i laugh #also why dont beck quebec fans have a moniker like cumberbitches or swifties or something #BQB #like barbecue BBQ except barb queue be BQB #im calling it

August 17, 2014 - Posted

You have probably already seen the video of Beck Quebec “dumping” Alfred (and by “dumping” I mean they were never actually together), so I don’t have to explain it to you. Just think back on it and remember Al’s glorious face as Beck called him “a motherfucking, sadistic, control-freak of a bastard” (my words not his). If you haven’t seen the video, then I suggest you make the quickest YouTube search of your life. Search “Beck Quebec is the Meanest Bitch on the Planet and Totally Made Alfred F. J**** Cry Even Though Their Relationship Was Fake: That Was the Sickest Burn I’ve Ever Seen.” It’s fucking hilarious.

Anywho, Toni’s party was pretty awesome. And by pretty awesome I mean major fucking awesome. Guess who has the awesomest boyfriend on the planet.

That’s right.

This guy.

Internet friends, seriously. Why didn’t I ask him out sooner?

And you know what? Even though Beck Quebec is the most overrated pop star out there, he earns another brownie point besides dumping Al’s ass. That’s right, folks. Mattie and I had our first kiss to “Underneath Maple Leaves.”

Suck it.

Tags: #personal #my awesome self #the crush DOES NOT continue because now HES MY BOYFRIEND #yes #score #im awesome #im serious tho guys #google beck quebec dumping his bf #best video youll watch all day #i dont want to go to school

August 19, 2014 - Posted

School started again. Everyone wept with joy.

If you believe that statement to be true, then congratulations. You should go to school and learn to not be an idiot.

So, apparnetly, our shit ass friends had a bet going since freshmen year. Liz, if you’re reading this, which I know you are, go fuck yourself. Kiku won the bet. Which means Liz has already fucked herself for losing.

You know what Liz and Kiku bet on? When Mattie and I would get together. Liz bet that we would get together during junior year, Kiku bet we would get together right before senior year, Toni bet it would be during senior year, and Roderich of all people bet it would happen after we graduated.

At least Al and Arthur stayed out of it.  ~~ We need new friends. ~~

Also, school sucks, in case you are dense af.

Tags: #personal #my awesome self #my shit friends #i love them anyway #shhh dont tell them I said that #school sucks but stay in it kids #who places bets on real people #who

August 22, 2014 - Posted

Okay, one quick post before I go to bed (though honestly I’ll probably stay up until I can no longer keep my eyes open for more than three seconds), but I took Mattie on a date tonight. And guess what. He kissed me.

Ah, our second kiss. It was awesome.  ~~ I wish I could kiss him all the time. ~~

Anyway, that’s all. I just wanted you all to know I got to kiss my awesome boyfriend again.

Tags: #personal #my awesome self #my awesome boyfriend #holy shit i love kissing him #we went out to the local italian restaurant #you know the one that felis grandpa owns #great pasta #also i got to hold his hand #its soft #i could die in my sleep tonight and i would be happy #but thats not cool and id love to see birdie again so hopefully i dont #good night friends

August 31, 2014 - Posted

Today, I went for a walk in the park with Birdie. It was awesome  ~~ and super romantic ~~ . But, I don’t know, guys. He’s gonna be super busy this week. I’ll barely get to see him.

And, yeah, okay, that sucks. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

I guess I’ll have to hang out with Toni or somebody. I haven’t seen him in a while.

Well, besides that, I was talking to West today and I have totally concluded that he isn’t just gay for Feli like I originally thought. My brother is full on gay. He also has a crush on Ryan Reynolds. Also, did you know Ryan Reynolds is having a kid? I just found that out today. I wonder what their going to name it - hopefully Gilbert. Gilbert is an awesome (unisex) name. In case you guys are having kids too and were thinking about good names.

Anyways, right, Ludwig isn’t just Feli-sexual. I mean, I knew he wasn’t aromantic because he was dating Feliciano, but like I actually got him to admit he was attracted to more guys. Like, dude, incredible. It took a lot of effort and I patted myself on the back, but you guys should totally applaud me as well.

Here’s how this conversation went:

Me: “So, like, how’re things with Fellipe?”

Him: “Feliciano is fine. How’s Matthew?”

Me: “Sexy.” This didn’t earn much of a response, but that’s okay, because I followed it up with, “You know who else is sexy? Chris Pratt.” Because, did you see him in  _ Guardians of the Galaxy _ ? You all have seen the movie, right? It came out thirty days ago.

Him: “He’s fine.”

Now, I was really offended at “he’s fine.” Um, no, Chris Pratt is one of the finest motherfuckers alive. So I was like, “What do you mean ‘he’s fine?’ Who is better than Chris Pratt?”

And Luddy was like, “Ryan Reynolds.”

Okay. I could have stopped there to gloat in victory, but that wouldn’t have been any fun. So I pressed. I kept it subtle. “Yeah? You think Ryan Reynolds looks better than Chris Pratt?”

The best part? HE FELL RIGHT INTO THE TRAP. He grunted and said, “He doesn’t have facial hair. It’s far more appealing.”

Which made me say, “So you’d date him if you had the chance?”

AND HE NODDED AND THEN REALIZED WHAT HE DID AND BLUSHED LIKE A VIRGIN BRIDE IT WAS SO AWESOME.

Then he ran to his room and has been ignoring me since. Thus ends my story.

Tags: #personal #my awesome self #my awesome boyfriend #my awesome bruder #ryan reynolds #chris pratt #guardians of the galaxy #are there any male celebrities you find particularly hot #or females i don’t discriminate #or non binary or trans or whatever #anyone you guys find particularly hot

September 10, 2014 - Posted

I took Mattie ice skating today. He killed it. I’m nothing compared to him. But, to be fair, he has been ice skating way longer than I have. It isn’t fair, but I can’t help but feel petty.

Anywho, we’re gonna hang out again on Friday, with Alfred so it isn’t much of a date. Whatever. So long as I don’t have to sit in my room by my lonesome on a Friday night watching the internet freak out about Beck Quebec’s single which is going to be released that day. I’m betting five bucks it sucks ass. And I’m going to win this bet. Because all of Beck Quebec’s songs suck ass.

So, I was wondering today if dinosaurs knew how to walk on ice? Did they too ice skate? The world may never know.

Perhaps I need a life.

Tags: #personal #my awesome self #my awesome boyfriend #ice skating #dinosaurs #also did you know zamboonys melt the ice #they dont add water like i always thought they did #birdie called me an idiot #it hurt but he was right #what movies should we watch at matties house this weekend #im thinking a harry potter marathon

**fryingpansexual** _ reblogged this from  _ **_awesomesauce_ ** _ and added _ : ur an idiot

**awesomesauce** _ reblogged this from  _ **_fryingpansexual_ ** _ and added _ : shut up liz

September 13, 2014 - Posted

Guys, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. But, in my awesome defense, Matthew was being a real fucker too.

So. Yesterday. I went to go watch movies with Al and Matt. At their house. Okay. We were watching  _ Frozen _ . I know I said I wanted a  _ Harry Potter  _ weekend, but we were watching  _ Frozen _ . Let it go. But I can’t. You’ll find out why. Right. So.  _ Frozen  _ ended so Mattie got up to change it to  _ Pretty Woman _ . I know I said I wanted a  _ Harry Potter _ weekend, but we were going to watch  _ Pretty Woman _ . Anyway. That’s when Alfred did the thing.

And by thing, I mean sing Beck Quebec’s newest single. Which I had already heard, like, twenty times that day. I haven’t heard it today because I’ve been holed up in my room in my own world. But. He was singing it. Or, at least, he started singing it. And, you know, I didn’t want to hear it again. So I told him to stop. And he was like why. And I was like, because I don’t like it. And he was like why. So I explained why.

I  _ guess _ I could have phrased my words tactfully. But have I ever been known to be tactful? I may have gone a bit overboard in retrospect.

All right. Before I continue, may I point out to you guys how hard it is for me to admit that I was wrong? Or that something I did wasn’t the nicest? Seriously. I just.

Okay. Anyway. Now that you know, I’ll continue. So I was talking about what was wrong with the song - called “Infatuation” of all things. What a wordy word. It’s like he’s trying to make himself look like an intellectual. But not my point. Well, actually one of my points. But, uh, right, so I started out with how showy the song is. Because it is - it’s very different from his other music, which makes it stand out as an outlier. The entire time, he’s trying to convince you he has an actual heart and it ends up sounding dumb.

And then Matthew started to play devil’s advocate. Which, okay, nothing was stopping him. I wasn’t - am still not entirely - sure why he was so passionate about it. He argued that people had the right to try new things and that Beck Quebec isn’t heartless just because I thought he was.  ~~ Which he has a point, but like I’m going to agree with it because of my pride. ~~ And I was all like, with  _ no goddamn filter _ , that’s stupid.

Well, okay, I said a lot more than “that’s stupid.” And it was a lot meaner. But I still don’t get why Mattie was so upset over it.

(I said that Beck Quebec’s music is shit  ~~ which is true ~~ due to the fact that he doesn’t really care about it and only wants money and fame. And that he steals lyrics from people, which he does according to TMZ. And I may have mentioned him sleeping around. Yeah this isn’t good.) In case you were wondering.

Then Matthew started yelling at me about how gullible I am for believing in rumors. That I’ve always been a hater and he’s tired of it. Ah, Gott, why am I like this? Because I yelled back. And made things worse.

Guys. This is our second biggest fight. Eighth grade, guys. That was our first big fight. And it was because of me, naturally, because I’m a fuck up.

What do I do? I need some advice. Please.

Tags: #personal #i cant believe i did this #why why why why why why why #what should i do #i dont think i can talk to him right now though #im still kind of mad he fought with me #but like i miss him already #hes my best friend #and i just got him to be my boyfriend #i really like him #guys what should i do

**fryingpansexual** _ reblogged this from  _ **_awesomesauce_ ** _ and added _ : Okay. I’m not going to call you names because that would be counterproductive and you’ve already realized that what you did wasn’t the greatest and have admitted you don’t understand the other side of the story. So, instead, I’m going to try and help you through this. You ready?

**awesomesauce** _ reblogged this from  _ **_fryingpansexual_ ** _ and added _ : Thanks, Liz. I owe you big time. What do I have to do?

September 18, 2014 - Drafted

I have never felt more unawesome. You wanna know what unawesomeness feels like? It feels like this. I’ve never felt so horrible - the world is gray and boring and I don’t feel like doing anything. I can’t believe this. Who knew this feeling was so heavy? Like, I feel like it’s literally weighing me down and I can barely get up to fight it.

I’m not exactly sure what I did wrong, but I feel I need to apologize for it.

I haven’t talked to Matthew in days. I’m going crazy. Liz has helped. But am I really calmed down enough to do this? I feel I am.

Okay. I’m going to do it. I’m going to put Lizzie’s advice into action. Wish me luck. 

I say to no one because I’m not going to publish this. Gott this is lame.

September 20, 2014 - Posted

Beck Quebec released his new album. I’m only saying this because I have no other news because I’m sure you’ve all went out to buy your iPhone 6 already. Matthew won’t answer my phone calls. He ignores me at school. I’ve talked to Alfred, but he isn’t very helpful.

I just want to apologize. 

I can barely focus on school work, but is that so weird? I could barely focus on school work the past eleven years of my life. I don’t know, guys. I’m just stressed I guess.

Well, I guess I have to plan Plan B now. Wish me luck.

Tags: #personal #the iphone 6 looks big and stupid #i don’t think apple can come up with a worse design than this #did they even try #i miss mattie #why is alfred so dense #i swear to gott he thought birdie and i already made up #time to break out my ukulele

September 21, 2014 - Posted

So guys, I did it. I got my boyfriend back. I showed up at his house and played “Infatuation” by Beck Quebec on my ukulele and won his heart back with beautiful serenading _ a la _ me.

Which was pretty fucking awesome.

Also, I would like to take back every mean thing I have ever said about Beck Quebec. I am a changed man and would like to formally apologize. Beck Quebec is an honest Canadian-American citizen who loves to make music and warm people's hearts. I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

Tags: #personal #my awesome self #my awesome boyfriend #who i am no longer fighting with #i love my life #ukuleles are so cool #beck quebec helped me with my relationship problems #even though he technically started them

**fryingpansexual** _ reblogged this from  _ **_awesomesauce_ ** _ and added _ : Yay!!!! I’m so happy! Also, I totally knew you loved Beck Quebec from the bottom of your heart. It’s good that you finally acknowledge your burning attraction.

September 21, 2014 - Drafted

My boyfriend is Beck Quebec.

I’m not even shitting you. My wonderful best friend since seventh grade and now boyfriend of a month and four days is Beck Fucking Quebec.

Matthew Williams is Beck Quebec.

He has a Hannah secret. I am now in on his Hannah secret. What the fuck.

I am so mad right now, but also super impressed that he was actually able to hide something this big from me. When I finished my song, and he let me inside, and we made up and stuff, he was all like “Gil, I have to tell you something.”

And I was all like, “Sure, shoot.” You know we had already apologized so I was like, “I wonder what?”

And he was fucking like “I’m Beck Quebec.”

And I was like “Okay, ya sure you are. Uh-huh.”

And he was like, “No, I’m serious. Let me show you my closet.”

And I’ve seen his closet a shit ton of times, except I’ve never actually touched it. He goes over to it and shoves his clothes aside and there’s a motherfucking  _ door _ there. He opens it and there was a whole fuck ton of more clothes in there.

Beck Quebec style clothes.

Like shit. I was like “What the fuck.”

And he was like “Sorry. I’ve been scared to tell you, especially since you don’t like my music.”

And I was all like “What the fuck.” Because what the fuck, ya know?

And him, being the guy he is, just said, “Miley Stewart has nothing on me.”

And I was like “You’re Hannah Montana.”

And he was like “Yeah, except Canadian. And male.”

And I was all like, because I was still having a hard time processing what the hell was going on and I in no way have any knowledge of Hannah Montana beyond the fact that she was really Miley Cyrus, said “So am I Jake Ryan or Jesse? Or can I be Travis, since I’m your childhood friend?”

Basically, guess who gets to Beck Quebec’s gay boyfriend.

I can’t believe I’m dating Miley Stewart and Hannah Montana. As two different people. It’s like two different people making two relationships. I’m dating Matthew, but Matthew as Beck Quebec is dating me as Name Yet to Be Determined. It’s making my head hurt.

Either way, I have the awesomest boyfriend on the planet.

October 1, 2014 - Posted

So guys, have you seen Beck Quebec’s newest video? Check it out →

**Beck Quebec Covers “He Could Be the One” by Hannah Montana as Miley Cyrus, feat. Frederick “Fritz” Schmidt on Ukulele**

Isn’t it awesome? Great ukulele playing, if you ask me.

Tags: #personal #my awesome self #ukulele #beck quebec #fritz schmidt #ukulele cutie instead of guitar cutie is what gets me #i guess hannah montana wasnt that bad #beck quebec is totally gay i so called it

**fryingpansexual** _ reblogged this from  _ **_awesomesauce_ ** _ and added:   _ Yeah, I think  _ Frederick “Fritz” Schmidt _ is a wonderful ukulele player,  _ Gil _ . I’m so glad you’ve had a change in heart for  _ Beck Quebec  _ because I know  _ Matthew _ is a fan of his. Thanks for sharing this with me.

**awesomesauce** _ reblogged this from  _ **_fryingpansexual_ ** _ and added:  _ Liz, if you know what’s good for you, you’re gonna ignore this post.

**fryingpansexual** _ reblogged this from  _ **_awesomesauce_ ** _ and added:  _ Sure thing. Just know you and I are going to go see Beck Quebec next time he has a concert (and you’re hooking me up with a free ticket).

**awesomesauce** _ reblogged this from  _ **_fryingpansexual_ ** _ and added:  _ deal


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